Sleep.

On Sunday, May 21st, our baby girl Melina James entered the world. Rather forcefully I might add (LOL).

Let’s just say this tiny human knows what she wants 🙂 I was originally due on June 10th, but like last time I was affected with pregnancy cholestasis. It was to be predicted as with a second pregnancy there’s a chance of 45% – 75% of cholestasis. I’ve written about this last time, but I’m going to write about it again because I now have a better understanding of the affliction.

Pregnancy cholestasis is (in short) is when pregnancy hormones affect the gall bladder. The flow of gall is slowed or stopped completely, causing a build up in the liver which can spill into the bloodstream. It’s not so much dangerous for the mother as it is an inconvenience. Some symptoms are (severe) itching on hands and feet, dark urine, light coloring of bowel movements, fatigue, loss of appetite and depression.

I didn’t have all of them, but I was very wary of itching hands and feet. It’s only until the week before the delivery that I read about the dark urine. By then I’d noticed a different coloring and I was puzzled as to what could be the cause.

For the fetus it’s a different story. Cholestasis can cause fetal distress, preterm labour and stillbirth. It’s a very serious condition!

I had a bit of an itch on my hands in april, and noticed that I was becoming a bit stressed out over the cholestasis thing. So I discussed it with my midwife and they agreed to monitor my blood on a weekly basis after the 37th week of pregnancy. They still stressed that she might decide to come before the cholestasis symptoms, and they also stressed that I might not even get it this time.

I was comforted a bit until my hands started itching again two weeks ago, and I noticed the darker colored urine. I called my midwife and they sent me to the hospital for a blood check and CTG scan.

It turned out that my liver values were too high, and if the bile salt levels were raised I’d have to be induced on the saturday, but it was going to take a day for the results to come in. She told us that there was medication available for my itch, but it wouldn’t reduce the values, just the symptoms. One of the main reasons she proposed to induce labor is the fact that once I’d take the medicine the values wouldn’t be accurate. So they couldn’t see if my baby was ok or not.

So we went home and waited for the phone call the next day. The next day another doctor called and said that she had made an appointment for me to see another gynacologist on monday and that they were not going to induce labor. To be very honest I was rather shocked. She mentioned that she was going to prescribe medicine anyway and that ‘everything would be fine’. So I asked her why she would prescribe me medicine and in short it came down to a battle of ego. I was ‘pushing to be induced’ while her medical training said that the chance of something happening would be small.

By this point I was tired of the ‘chance of this and the chance of that’, I asked her simply: “can you guarantee that nothing will happen to my child?”

And her answer was obviously no. Simply because, like the other doctor (and my midwife) told me, if something was to go wrong, it would be accute. Which basically comes down to this: the fetus dies in the womb, and nobody will know. I’ll show up for an exam and they tell me: “we’re sorry, there’s nothing we can do for your baby. We do need to induce labor now so you can say goodbye to your dead baby”.

yeah.. fuck that.

Did I push to be induced? Yes. Did I push hard to be induced? fuck yeah. Do I have any regrets? Absolutely not.

 

Let me say that I mean absolutely no disrespect to this doctor, or her medical knowledge. But by now I can easily say that, as a first time mom, doctors do NOT take you seriously. I called in for my sons breathing issues when he was sick and they won’t even see him! They’ll tell me he’ll be fine. How do you know he’ll be fine if you haven’t examined him? So now I just make an appointment and they’re shocked to see that I’m not a hysterical, crying, panicking mom and my kid is seriously having trouble breathing

Anyway, it became a long rant, but if you’re still reading: here’s a short recap of Melina’s arrival 🙂 I got my wish and labor was induced on saturday. Here’s the thing, at 37 weeks, the whole process wasn’t really ready, so my body reacted to being induced by giving everybody the finger. So our saturday was spent watching Trevor Noah and youtube. It was an interesting day, and somewhere during the evening I actually started to slowly feel the contractions. But they were still random and not really that strong.

At 0:30 in the morning they told us to go to sleep. I took a shower (still hooked up to machines and drips and whatnot) and somewhere around 1.30 I went to bed.

At 2:15 I woke up because of a seriously active contraction. It’s as if we started at the intro, skipped the entire show and I woke up at the grand finale. DH was asleep and I thought about letting him sleep, but honestly 15 minutes later I woke him up because it was showtime 😛

We called the midwife and not even 2 hours later little Melina was lying on my stomach and she was absolutely perfect. Tinier than Ma’iq had been, by 1,2 kgs. But they all assured me that it was perfectly normal and had she stayed inside for 3 more weeks she would’ve weighed 3.500 instead of 2.565.

It is my personal belief that she wanted to be a gemini rather than taurus, and that’s the difference between the 20th and 21st of May 🙂 Thinking back, even though it was rather sudden and there wasn’t much time to prepare, it was amazing and beautiful <3

At one week old I can say that she’s a calm and happy baby. She sleeps, she eats and poops like a champ and she grows <3 It’s such a different experience compared to Ma’iq. I always felt like I was doing something wrong because he kept crying and had a hard time sleeping on his own, but I now realize that all kids are different too, and different kids need different things. I don’t compare them, but I mostly look at how I responded differently back then, and how (maybe obviously) I’m now more comfortable with handling a baby and his/ her needs.

I’m pretty sure I’d be much better at dealing with another baby Ma’iq now, than I was back then. I’d be able to have a more understanding attitude. Also, maybe if I wasn’t so stressed out, Ma’iq would’ve been calmer (because I stressed him out too).

One of the most shocking things is that I’m actually writing a blog post right now and I’m dressed and composed haha. I find it shocking to see how much she looks like Ma’iq and I’m so incredibly curious to see what she’ll look like in a few weeks, months…. <3

I’d like to finish this post with this picture. We only mentioned a few times that there was a baby in mommy’s belly and that her name would be Melina. But everytime we tried to mention it Ma’iq waved his hand, shook his head and said no no no. So I was a little worried about how he would react once his little sister was born.

On the day she arrived my in-laws came to the hospital and Ma’iq entered the room, pointed towards where she slept and said “Linaaa”. I melted into a little puddle, it was the most adorable thing ever. He still does that. He also does it in daycare. When they ask him what his little sisters name is he sais “Linaaa” <3

Today he gently petted her head while saying her name. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve such a sweet kid <3

I promise there will be yarn in the next post 😀

Thank you for reading <3

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